On October 27, 2010, I had the fortune to meet and speak to David Sedaris. The whole experience was really exciting and magical. Here is how it went:
I was still at work at 9:45 PM after a somewhat upsetting day. I thought about the fact that David Sedaris had written so many funny essays about work, and I wondered if he was going to write more of them. Then I started thinking that maybe I should write essays about work (I shouldn't...my "crazy stories" would pale in comparison to his).
Since I was bored, I decided to look him up on Google News and see if anything new or interesting was happening in his life. I was shocked and thrilled to find THIS online:
I was still at work at 9:45 PM after a somewhat upsetting day. I thought about the fact that David Sedaris had written so many funny essays about work, and I wondered if he was going to write more of them. Then I started thinking that maybe I should write essays about work (I shouldn't...my "crazy stories" would pale in comparison to his).
Since I was bored, I decided to look him up on Google News and see if anything new or interesting was happening in his life. I was shocked and thrilled to find THIS online:
I couldn't believe it! Understand, David lives in FRANCE and rarely goes on tour here, especially to OC and especially at the university that's TWO BLOCKS from my house! I was so excited and happy that I started tearing up. Even though it said that the event had started around 7:30, and it was already almost 10 PM, I knew that I was not going to miss him. He has a reputation for staying as long as it takes to personally greet every single person who attends his lectures and grant them a short audience. I realize that sounds huffy and kingish but hey--once you've read "When You Are Engulfed In Flames", you too will "request the pleasure of his company" along with the best of us.
I jumped in my car and drove quickly down to the lecture hall and found a perfect parking spot about ten yards from the auditorium. I wasn't surprised to see that there was a massive line of people waiting to get their books signed. At the time I showed up, the line was extremely long--about 500 or so people were lined up around the block and down Glassell Avenue. As the overwhelm of that mass of people fawning over him began to hit me, I realized that I wanted to do something really special for David!
I ran inside and was overjoyed to see that his newest book, a collection of fables entitled "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary" JUST got released this month! I bought a lovely hardcover edition for $24 and sprinted back to the car.
A bestiary, he explained, “is just a book where animals do things that people do.”
He did not want to call it a book of animal “fables,” because fables have morals. Some of his stories do have morals, and others go to rather dark places, like one about a bear kidnapped into a life of misery in a low-rent circus. But Sedaris said he did not want to impose morality throughout the book.
Mostly he just wanted to start writing fiction again, and said that this seemed like an “inviting” way to do so.
“If I were to write that Philip and Amanda had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about, I would need to tell you what they looked like and how old they were and what clothes they were wearing,” Sedaris said. “But if I said the squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks, everybody knows what a squirrel and a chipmunk look like, and I can just cut to the chase.”
The first animal story Sedaris wrote, about six or seven years ago, was “The Cat and the Baboon,” a parable about stereotyping and trying to ingratiate oneself with a stranger by bashing another racial or ethnic group (or in this case, species). It’s the first of 15 stories in the book, culled from 25.
Getting them in just the right order was a challenge. Obviously, you can’t have two bird stories next to each other, and you don’t want relationship stories back-to-back, either.
“So I put them in this order and then I would realize that’s three stories with the word ‘chuckle’ in it,” Sedaris said. “Who knew that I used the word chuckle?”
Then I drove home, read the first half of his book while my phone was charging (so I could take pictures), and got started on a painting for David.
I painted a bird with a tree in honor of the animal/nature theme of his newest work. The bird is silly and fat, which represents David and his inability to fit in with our world and society.
The bottom of the tree is straight and narrow. That represents the normal, straight-laced portions of life, the white picket fence world, the land of laws and the confines of social niceties.
The top of the tree is hot pink. That represents his struggle with acceptance and homosexuality. The texture of the tree is extremely thick; I layered the paint on until it stood out from the canvas about a quarter of an inch.
The abstract "leaves" of the tree are brilliant gold. That represents his true nature and inner wisdom, and everything he has chosen to share with us as readers. The movement of the tree is fierce, free, and swirling, representing the crazier side of life, the aesthetics of living, and his encouragement of others to take risks.
David, the yellow bird, is not sitting in the tree. He is standing underneath it, a pensive observer.
I jumped in my car and drove quickly down to the lecture hall and found a perfect parking spot about ten yards from the auditorium. I wasn't surprised to see that there was a massive line of people waiting to get their books signed. At the time I showed up, the line was extremely long--about 500 or so people were lined up around the block and down Glassell Avenue. As the overwhelm of that mass of people fawning over him began to hit me, I realized that I wanted to do something really special for David!
I ran inside and was overjoyed to see that his newest book, a collection of fables entitled "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary" JUST got released this month! I bought a lovely hardcover edition for $24 and sprinted back to the car.
A bestiary, he explained, “is just a book where animals do things that people do.”
He did not want to call it a book of animal “fables,” because fables have morals. Some of his stories do have morals, and others go to rather dark places, like one about a bear kidnapped into a life of misery in a low-rent circus. But Sedaris said he did not want to impose morality throughout the book.
Mostly he just wanted to start writing fiction again, and said that this seemed like an “inviting” way to do so.
“If I were to write that Philip and Amanda had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about, I would need to tell you what they looked like and how old they were and what clothes they were wearing,” Sedaris said. “But if I said the squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks, everybody knows what a squirrel and a chipmunk look like, and I can just cut to the chase.”
The first animal story Sedaris wrote, about six or seven years ago, was “The Cat and the Baboon,” a parable about stereotyping and trying to ingratiate oneself with a stranger by bashing another racial or ethnic group (or in this case, species). It’s the first of 15 stories in the book, culled from 25.
Getting them in just the right order was a challenge. Obviously, you can’t have two bird stories next to each other, and you don’t want relationship stories back-to-back, either.
“So I put them in this order and then I would realize that’s three stories with the word ‘chuckle’ in it,” Sedaris said. “Who knew that I used the word chuckle?”
Then I drove home, read the first half of his book while my phone was charging (so I could take pictures), and got started on a painting for David.
I painted a bird with a tree in honor of the animal/nature theme of his newest work. The bird is silly and fat, which represents David and his inability to fit in with our world and society.
The bottom of the tree is straight and narrow. That represents the normal, straight-laced portions of life, the white picket fence world, the land of laws and the confines of social niceties.
The top of the tree is hot pink. That represents his struggle with acceptance and homosexuality. The texture of the tree is extremely thick; I layered the paint on until it stood out from the canvas about a quarter of an inch.
The abstract "leaves" of the tree are brilliant gold. That represents his true nature and inner wisdom, and everything he has chosen to share with us as readers. The movement of the tree is fierce, free, and swirling, representing the crazier side of life, the aesthetics of living, and his encouragement of others to take risks.
David, the yellow bird, is not sitting in the tree. He is standing underneath it, a pensive observer.
After I finished the painting, I taped one of my best works of writing, "The Butterfly Man" to the back of the canvas with a note. Then I drove back to Chapman University and stood in line. I was the last person in line, and the line was still a block long! It was about 1 AM at that time.
While I waited in line I finished reading the rest of his new book. It is brilliant of course. I will write a more thorough review on Amazon later.
Around 3 AM I finally got my chance to meet him. It was EXTREMELY anticlimactic. The white marbly room was empty except for us two and his assistant. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Hi!
David: Hello. (reaching out for my book to sign and taking the "my name" slip of paper where fans had to write their names as they wanted them to appear inside the book)
Me: Um, I made you a painting. It's about your new book.
David: Wow! Are you Joni?
Me: Yeah (smile)
David: Joni, thank you! Wait, when did you make this?
Me: Just now, I just did it after I read some of the Squirrel book.
David: That is really nice of you, Joni.
Me: You're welcome. I'm a really huge fan of your work. My favorite story is the one about your family naming your vacation home on the East coast!
David: Well, thanks for coming by.
Me: Thank you for staying until 3 AM!
David: Sure, sure. It's a lot of fun.
Assistant: Mr. Sedaris, we really need to get you to the hotel now.
David: Okay. Nice to meet you Joni.
Me: Bye!!!
While I waited in line I finished reading the rest of his new book. It is brilliant of course. I will write a more thorough review on Amazon later.
Around 3 AM I finally got my chance to meet him. It was EXTREMELY anticlimactic. The white marbly room was empty except for us two and his assistant. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Hi!
David: Hello. (reaching out for my book to sign and taking the "my name" slip of paper where fans had to write their names as they wanted them to appear inside the book)
Me: Um, I made you a painting. It's about your new book.
David: Wow! Are you Joni?
Me: Yeah (smile)
David: Joni, thank you! Wait, when did you make this?
Me: Just now, I just did it after I read some of the Squirrel book.
David: That is really nice of you, Joni.
Me: You're welcome. I'm a really huge fan of your work. My favorite story is the one about your family naming your vacation home on the East coast!
David: Well, thanks for coming by.
Me: Thank you for staying until 3 AM!
David: Sure, sure. It's a lot of fun.
Assistant: Mr. Sedaris, we really need to get you to the hotel now.
David: Okay. Nice to meet you Joni.
Me: Bye!!!
He said my name like FOUR TIMES! His teeth were really crooked! He was much skinnier than I had always imagined. Overall it was an incredible conversation--immature, yes, and fannish, but then...wouldn't you love him, too, the boy who licks light switches?
After I exited through the side door I saw a gorgeous town car that had been sent for him (David can't drive). I introduced myself to the driver, Blake, and we chatted for about 45 minutes about how amazing David is and how much his work has affected people. Blake was really friendly. He is 38 years old and went to Cal State Fullerton and works as a town car driver for celebrities and rich business people. He doesn't like it much, but he was encouraged by our conversation. I pumped him up about David's celebrity status and got him excited about the prospect of driving with such a character.
Honestly, David's essays have changed my entire outlook on life. I am a better member of the human race as a direct result of his art.
With sardonic wit and incisive social critiques, David Sedaris is unquestionably the best American humor writer.
The great skill with which he slices through cultural euphemisms and political correctness proves that Sedaris is a master of satire and one of the most observant writers addressing the human condition today. I am blessed to have had the chance to find out about the event, attend, get my book signed, and exchange with someone who has helped me so much.
Here is a little more information about him for the haplessly uninitiated:
David Sedaris is the author Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice, as well as collections of personal essays, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and When You Are Engulfed in Flames, each of which became a bestseller. There are a total of seven million copies of his books in print and they have been translated into 25 languages. He was the editor of Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules: An Anthology of Outstanding Stories. Sedaris’s pieces appear regularly in The New Yorker and have twice been included in “The Best American Essays.”
He and his sister, Amy Sedaris, have collaborated under the name “The Talent Family” and have written half-a-dozen plays which have been produced at La Mama, Lincoln Center, and The Drama Department in New York City. These plays include Stump the Host, Stitches, One Woman Shoe, which received an Obie Award, Incident at Cobbler’s Knob, and The Book of Liz, which was published in book form by Dramatists Play Service.
David loves public radio and contributes a LOT to this medium. His original radio pieces can often be heard on This American Life, distributed nationally by Public Radio International and produced by WBEZ. David Sedaris has been nominated for three Grammy Awards for Best Spoken Word and Best Comedy Album. His latest audio recording of new stories (recorded live) is “David Sedaris: Live for Your Listening Pleasure” (November 2009).
Sedaris loves pranks and seems to have a particular gift for wedding-related shenanigans. On the blog of Paul Morrisey, a longtime Sedaris fan, he recounts a story that began with Morrissey and his fiancée going to a reading and handing Sedaris a wedding invitation, just for a lark.
Morrissey wrote that it didn’t immediately register when, a few weeks later, his mail included a handwritten note from France:
“Thank you for the invitation, but I’ll be in Germany on the day of your wedding. Please accept the following gift, which will come in handy when building your new life.
Sincerely, David Sedaris.”
Enclosed with the note was a $1 bill.
After I exited through the side door I saw a gorgeous town car that had been sent for him (David can't drive). I introduced myself to the driver, Blake, and we chatted for about 45 minutes about how amazing David is and how much his work has affected people. Blake was really friendly. He is 38 years old and went to Cal State Fullerton and works as a town car driver for celebrities and rich business people. He doesn't like it much, but he was encouraged by our conversation. I pumped him up about David's celebrity status and got him excited about the prospect of driving with such a character.
Honestly, David's essays have changed my entire outlook on life. I am a better member of the human race as a direct result of his art.
With sardonic wit and incisive social critiques, David Sedaris is unquestionably the best American humor writer.
The great skill with which he slices through cultural euphemisms and political correctness proves that Sedaris is a master of satire and one of the most observant writers addressing the human condition today. I am blessed to have had the chance to find out about the event, attend, get my book signed, and exchange with someone who has helped me so much.
Here is a little more information about him for the haplessly uninitiated:
David Sedaris is the author Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice, as well as collections of personal essays, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and When You Are Engulfed in Flames, each of which became a bestseller. There are a total of seven million copies of his books in print and they have been translated into 25 languages. He was the editor of Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules: An Anthology of Outstanding Stories. Sedaris’s pieces appear regularly in The New Yorker and have twice been included in “The Best American Essays.”
He and his sister, Amy Sedaris, have collaborated under the name “The Talent Family” and have written half-a-dozen plays which have been produced at La Mama, Lincoln Center, and The Drama Department in New York City. These plays include Stump the Host, Stitches, One Woman Shoe, which received an Obie Award, Incident at Cobbler’s Knob, and The Book of Liz, which was published in book form by Dramatists Play Service.
David loves public radio and contributes a LOT to this medium. His original radio pieces can often be heard on This American Life, distributed nationally by Public Radio International and produced by WBEZ. David Sedaris has been nominated for three Grammy Awards for Best Spoken Word and Best Comedy Album. His latest audio recording of new stories (recorded live) is “David Sedaris: Live for Your Listening Pleasure” (November 2009).
Sedaris loves pranks and seems to have a particular gift for wedding-related shenanigans. On the blog of Paul Morrisey, a longtime Sedaris fan, he recounts a story that began with Morrissey and his fiancée going to a reading and handing Sedaris a wedding invitation, just for a lark.
Morrissey wrote that it didn’t immediately register when, a few weeks later, his mail included a handwritten note from France:
“Thank you for the invitation, but I’ll be in Germany on the day of your wedding. Please accept the following gift, which will come in handy when building your new life.
Sincerely, David Sedaris.”
Enclosed with the note was a $1 bill.